Fat Studies

Wow, it has been a long time since I sat down to write here. I've been doing a lot of work at home to get the house organized - I've gone through almost every piece of clothing my husband and I own and am sorting it. We also got rid of 2 dumpsters of junk. I feel a little bad we didn't spend more time recycling and donating - but the crap really had to go.
The impetus for my writing today as an article posted by a friend of mine: http://bitchmagazine.org/article/sized-up-fat-feminist-queer-disability.
About two weeks ago I decided I was going to go on a diet. I want to get pregnant and the last time I was pregnant (I miscarried) occurred while I was on a diet. The link between my weight loss and the pregnancy has always stuck in my mind. I feel like if I am overweight I will not be able to get pregnant and the pregnancy will not be healthy. I don't know if this is true or not. I've been eating 1200-1300 calories and exercising daily. I am frequently hungry. In order to avoid being hungry, I drink hot tea which makes the pangs go away. The first few days were the worst. Now, my stomach seems to have shrunk and expects less food from me.
I've lost seven pounds.
I have more energy, but I think that is mainly because of the thyroid medicine I am on. I am still very lethargic and would prefer to stay in bed all day. Sometimes I am hungry and want to go to sleep so I don't have to think about how hungry I am.
I know this is not healthy.
If I do get to my goal (which is 200 pounds, nothing crazy) on the way there, I am going to be honest with people about my weight loss. I'm not doing it for health. Maybe it is the societal pressure. I really don't know.
I accept my weight as part of my identity. I have no desire to get to a "healthy BMI." I'll still be considered obese at 200 lbs. However, that is the weight I think suits me.
Husband has to go to the dentist tomorrow. My sleep schedule is all fucked up. I'm going to try to stay up all night so I can have a somewhat normal routine.