To sleep, perchance to dream

I think I slept more hours yesterday than I was awake. I decided to give up caffiene a few days ago because it was causing this odd ache/murmur in my chest. Yesterday I suffered the caffiene withdrawl headache and it is lingering into today. I try to sleep through headaches if at all possible. I'd hate to know how many days of my life have been spent in slumber trying to forget about the world around me.
I've been doing exceptionally well taking my medicine everyday, but I still feel this dragging sensation. It took me all day to work up the energy to clean my house and I didn't even do that thorough of a job. I really need to do laundry but the thought of carrying all the clothes to the basement and then back up terrifies me. All I want to do is sit in my chair and let the world continue as it wants. I'll be here, probably sleeping.
I really feel terrible that I've been neglecting my sweet, wonderful dog. I know I'm not giving her all of the attention she deserves, but I just can't find the energy. The guilt weighs on me and makes my sadness worse.
I allowed myself to do absolutely nothing this weekend. I have the next week off for Spring Break and I intend to go to campus every day - if I can afford the gas. I have two papers I need to write and I should get a head start on my classes. If I do this, maybe I can coast through the rest of the semester. I also need to decide if I want the director of the basic course to observe my teaching.
I realize the title of this post is an allusion to Hamlet's soliloquy where heea contemplates suicide. I was unsure about the necessity of my existence two weeks ago. I'm just so scared of pain that I don't think I could go through with it. I'm also not sure what happens on the other side - or if there is another side.
Many of my friends are quite religious and I find it hard to have that level of faith. It's not necessarily that I need proof, but I do look at the variety of religions around the world and wonder if they can all be right. With the commonalities of the world's religions, I do think if there is a deity, it sends a messenger to each culture and they interpret it as they will. I don't know if I need to believe in a deity to be a good person.